10000 Hours

Inspired by Malcolm Gladwell's book, Outliers... I have started this new blog: http://10000th.wordpress.com. This is a much more general blog for anyone who is interested in keeping up with things I think about. I won't be subscribing this mailing list to the blog so this should be the very, very last email I send from here.

Thanks for reading and all your support these past couple years!

Joel

All Good Things Come To An End

Dear friends, just wanted to let you know that after a solid six month run, I will no longer be posting on 'tea for one.' Part of it is because I haven't updated in another six months since, but the other (more so) part of the change is that since I thinking about life outside UMass, I want my a new blog to start from scratch. My 'new' blog will have a specific goal/mindset in mind as I post updates. If you are receiving email updates from this blog, nothing will change in terms of receiving updates. Anyways, I'll start publicizing myself with a different blog address when it comes to it. Thanks for reading my thoughts and updates during the six month time period of going strong!

Joel

...and here's my final newsletter which you may be receiving in the mail sometime next week...

All Day Long Today

Psalm 25:4-5

Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

===

God's presence is with us all day long, so that we can hope like this. Everywhere we go, whatever our circumstance... God's presence is there. And in the midst of feeling discouraged again by the lack of rest and joy in anything I was doing or having, I realized I didn't want God's presence in these moments. Where was I when the things I deeply wanted simply couldn't be? God exists in these moments of sadness and suffering, and it is only in God's presence that I can find comfort and rest.

Yet for some reason I didn't want God. He had been the cause of all of this. He had allowed misery. Yet I never saw Him past the problems. God is also the One who brings us relief from all of this. There is hope that this suffering is not the end, and there is always something better. Somehow all of this is linked to something greater, but I am too blind to see. And this is hope, there is joy in trying to see God's presence. Wherever I am and whatever obstacles are in the way, God is there. I definitely have not fully solved this conundrum or anything, but to become eager and hopeful when we are sad is definitely something worth mentioning.

As I recount more of what this means the past few months specifically, I just want to thank you for having hope for me even when I lacked it. For trusting God even when I struggled. And for continually being part of something greater, God's kingdom, when I felt like I failed to. Thanks for your support and for sharing the Gospel with me every time we meet!

http://saharatea.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/oasis-desert.jpg

Amidst rocky, uneven terrain

Dead by toil, Dead by fear

Life sprang out of the heavens and called my name

Lo! Rise once more

You are alive today!

Blog-ging Off the Calories

With Thanksgiving over, I think it's time to starting putting that extra stuffing to work. I hope to start sending updates (regularly) again. Thanks again for all your support!

Totally Irrelevant, but in the spirit of Thanksgiving:

In n' Out

Back home for a few weeks, now it's over. I will be heading out to Amherst on Monday morning. I think this officially marks the second year, but please continue praying for the fund-raising. Thanks! I know that a lot of people who are on the missions' field are struggling with financial support, but God can provide!

The Hunt for a Car

This post is definitely edited since I did not realize how quickly things change in the consumer market during the process. I was initially looking for a car badly because I thought it was something I needed badly. I had all these questions floating in my head: How would I make appointments? How would I help out the campus if I was going to be needy? How could I learn to be responsible? These are pretty valid questions, but the real issue was my identity drawing somehow from possessing a car. And in this process of finding a car, I started seeing how it was consuming me. I am really thankful for the help I received in finding a car. Even though it was consuming me, it was really awesome spending a lot of time with my dad and a few friends doing all of this. I eventually found one, a minivan (that looks like the one below)!

The reason I am sharing all of this is because it makes me think about wanting material things in regards to the spiritual realm. I think this experience helped me see that God's existence is bigger than the things we want. I desire to possess, and God gave me much more. Relational experiences, in buying a car(?). In the same way that the whole process has been a blessing for me, I look forward to blessing others with my minivan (still nameless).

Summer Newsletter

It's Out!!! Right here:

I have put them in the mail and you should get them sometime over the next week...

Which reminds me, if you are on my email list, but are not receiving any mailings from me, please let me know so I can fix that. I am planning on sending out a newsletter quarterly as well as a couple other things. Thanks!

It's a Beautiful Morning

I just want to say thanks to everyone I have talked to within the past few weeks. Your love and care for my trip to the Philippines and time back home has been really great and encouraging. I'm surprised how my reverse culture shock has hit me this time around (in light of other trips I've been on), but your comfort has definitely helped me cope with whatever it is. Can't say that it is all sunshine and roses till forever, but Today is a beautiful morning.

And thinking about that made me think of this song:

==========

http://artists.letssingit.com

'It's a Beautiful Morning'

by The Rascals

It's a beautiful mornin' ahhh

I think I'l go outside a while

An jus' smile

Just take in some clean fresh air boy

Ain't no sense in stayin' inside

If the weather's fine an' you got the time

It's your chance to wake up and plan another brand new day

Either way

It's a beautiful mornin' ahhh

Each bird keeps singin' his own song

So long

I've got to be on my way now

Ain't no fun just hangin' around

I've got to cover ground you couldn't keep me down

It just ain't no good if the sun shines

when you're still inside

Shouldn't hide still inside

Shouldn't hide still inside shouldn't hide

Ahhhh oh shouldn't hide ah ah oh

==========

Reverse-culture shock is basically the coping mechanism of coming back to the familiar. It isn't that coming back to America surprises me, but I realize what I don't have when I "lose it." Everything that I had deeply come to appreciate uniquely about the Philippines is no longer with me, and I don't know what to do about that. And to note, what I didn't have in the Philippines was probably the most apparent (clean air, water, utilities, etc.). And so my natural responses has been a lot of fear and isolation. I am afraid that no one understands me, therefore I isolate myself from everyone else.

And actually this past weekend has revealed that my response is not based on something true. Though my experience is unique, we can identify together with Jesus. And that's where a lot of my encouragement has come from. We are here together. When Jesus tells us the two greatest commandments in Mark 12:29-31, it isn't a formula of pleasing God. It is an expression of how much God loves us and how we can come to know this love. It is also a directive, sage advice, to help us find our life. Fear and isolation is a common response. And it has been driving me down in discouragement. Loving God with everything we got and loving our neighbors helps us see Jesus, to see life.

I woke up today and thought about this, it was great (perhaps BEAUTIFUL!? I was intrigued to overuse that cliche).

With a deep gratitude for helping me see God,

Joel

photo taken by zking1286

A Quick Update

"Warp 7"

by BernieSpeed @ www.caedes.net

This picture pretty much describes perfectly how I feel since coming back. I kind of just feel out of place in life. Everything keeps on moving around me really fast, but here I am 'snail-ing' along life. And on top of that I'm suppose to think about fund-raising and such. Yup, that's pretty much it. Reverse culture-shock. It's pretty great. It's pretty tough.

Thanks for your prayers and encouragement since I have come back. And thanks for keeping up with my blog when I was overseas - I'm glad it was pretty effective with communicating what was going on!

See you next time....

PREVIEW: summer newsletter is about to hit the presses. I'll post it when the final draft is done.

The Correct URL for Photos

https://sweetphilippines09.sugarsync.com/albums

I have fixed the link in my previous post, but this is to send out another email in case you go directly from there.

Lots of Photos

So this isn't much of an update, but our team has been uploading photos to a shared site where the full picture can be downloaded. If you want to check out the photos, here is the link to the website:

https://sweetphilippines09.sugarsync.com/albums

The albums are listed by name and a description so I think it is pretty easy to navigate. Also, please feel free to nab whichever pictures you want. Thanks. Eventually I will post some of my favorites online to give a full recap.

Home Sweet Home

Made it back home!!! It's great, now I'm going to dig a hole and disappear for a couple of days. Probably I'll spend time with my family. It will be pretty great shaving as well, got a bit haggard.
It's pretty great to upload pictures in 10 seconds. When they come, this blog will be littered with them.

Hi Again Means Goodbye Sometimes

Heading out in four hours to the Manila airport. 31 hours later I will be landing in Logan. Nice? It will be pretty great to be back home (and recovering from jet lag). It was pretty great seeing some of the teenagers from the community come and visit. Yes, very good to be spending the last day with my Filipino friends and the rest of our team.

See many of you again soon and look forward to sharing some of the experiences. Thanks for all your prayers and notes of encouragement throughout this trip.

Winding Down

Flying out in 3 days... whoa

It was great to visit Los Banos, Laguna and the ministry in Metro Manila the past few days. The rest of our team left their respective ministries and we are back at the Filipino Navigator headquarters. There are plans for some rest and relaxing in the city as we debrief our time with each other. It feels pretty strange to be talking about leaving the Philippines, but this trip has helped me look forward to another year at UMass.

Also, I personally am hoping to spend maybe one more day with a couple of older guys from our community (Ronel and Darwin) if they can visit on Saturday. That would be pretty exciting for sure... it's pretty tough leaving friends by going halfway around the world.

True Fasting

I sometimes wonder if we are connecting with people's spirituality too much instead of too little. As in we are too concerned with what bible studies we get them connected with and miss out on people's physical/emotional needs.

Here's a chapter from Isaiah that is helping me process this thought:

Isaiah 58:2-10
2For day after day they seek me out; they seem eager to know my ways, as if they were a nation that does what is right and has not forsaken the commands of its God. They ask me for just decisions and seem eager for God to come near them. ³'Why have we fasted,' they say, 'and you have not seen it? Why have we humbled ourselves,and you have not noticed?' "Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please and exploit all your workers. ⁴Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife, and in striking each other with wicked fists. You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high. ⁵Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man to humble himself? Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed and for lying on sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the LORD? 6"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? ⁷Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? ⁸Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. 9Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. "If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, 10and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.

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It makes me think about this: to know the abundance of the Lord isn't simply to think rightly, but to also live justly.

Notes From Lunch

Jason and I had the privilege of meeting with Wency, the director of the urban poor ministries in Los Banos. I wanted to write down what I heard because I really love the vision of his ministry here.

• The ministry in Los Banos comprises ministry to the poor, high school ministry, and a college ministry (UPLB)... incorporating self-sustaining development programs, feeding programs, music ministry, and tutorials.
• The major mission points of this ministry is to: have a ministry that is able to be run by lay-people, develop real community, and be holistic - to minister to people's needs and their spirituality, speak to all of their lives with the gospel, minister to a wide array of people (H.S., college, slums/squatter areas).
• Holistic ministry is essential because people begin to follow you when you help their needs.
  
• Another reason why there are multiple ministries is because the poor in the Philippines are integrated throughout all of society - the poor and the rich mingle in everyday life.
• Being poor isn't necessarily better, though they are more ready to accept the gospel. The poor and rich struggle with the same inherent issues (sin, family structure, cultural pressures)... it is just the poor are more aware of their neediness, which is why they readily desire to connect their spirituality.
• The congregational church ministers to the community when individuals take charge of loving their neighbors (going beyond church and church activity attendance).
• The future vision is that laborers will be built up as the ministry speaks to each individual's wholeness... and they will go out to establish communities.

I am a little bit embarrassed with my broken notes, but what kuya wency and Companion to the Poor say really complement each other. I am really grateful for the hospitality of the people in Los Banos in welcoming Jason and I to visit their ministry. Seeing the ministry here helps me also process my time in Antipolo better as well.

Uggh, Need to Develop Pictures

So after three straight days of farewell parties (mine, Jon's, and Jason's) from Wednesday to Friday, I had a chocolate party with the community kids and took them out to the movies on Saturday, and said farewell on Sunday morning. I could describe more (but unfortunately there are no pictures to show you these things), but its not too difficult to describe lots of food, song/dance tributes, and a lot of good-byes. Filipinos love there dancing and ridiculous amounts of food at their parties.

Now Jason and I are here in Los Banos (two hours south) with three other teammates who we met during the first week of orientation. It's really tough leaving an awesome community, it's great to meet up with old friends and visit the ministry here.

Mix of emotions. Miss my host family a lot already.

I'm Thankful for....

To be honest I don't feel like I have actually done anything really significant other than experience Filipino culture quite thoroughly. However, I was talking to Ate Lina (the mother of my family) today and she got quite emotional explaining how she was thankful for the time that I've spent here. And when someone thanks you for doing something you are not too sure what you've done, it definitely makes you reflect pretty hard.

• I think my interaction with Ate Lina was really great since it was in the context of talking about a message Dario presented last night in Matthew 6 (Do not worry...), Ecclesiastes 12, and Isaiah 40. She also shared her story of how she trusts God with her family. It's pretty inspiring.
• I have come to a semi-conclusion that where I felt like I have done nothing, and Ate Lina was moved is a direct reflection of affluent vs. two-third world societies. The book I am reading, Companion to the Poor, has a chapter wondering why Matthew 5 says "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven," as in why the poor are blessed. I think I've come to recognize that the poor need a lot less to be moved by God's provision. Where I need something pretty near to miraculous to happen before I feel significant, Ate Lina was simply thankful for my presence with her family. That's pretty incredible, seeing God's presence practically everywhere.
• Ate Lina has been praying for her family (her husband and four kids) for many years and gradually God is transforming each of their lives - when I can find a picture of the family, I will share what Ate Lina has shared with me. I am pretty excited for when the whole family can worship God and be a blessing to their neighbors and friends. If I see that day, it's going to be pretty exciting!
• I realize that truly adapting to a culture is pretty hard. Food, relating to people, noises, smells, weather, language barriers, different value systems, mosquitoes, and getting sick compound each other to make a pretty intense experience that is not like home. However, as I continue to reflect about my time here, there is one thing I'm really thankful for. I am really thankful that I got to thoroughly experience Filipino culture this time around and in this experience see the gospel transform lives (through house churches, bible studies, and conversations with my family). The poor are blessed because the hope of following Jesus is much more significant. Not only are they following in the "spiritual" sense, but they are learning to trust God with their whole lives. Seeing this process in the local communities has been pretty awesome.
• I am really thankful for my family as well. All of them have welcomed me warmly into their house and given me space to rest. They have been great. Yeah, I'm going to miss them. Here here to the last week!
  

The Worst Time to be Making Decisions

So it's pretty official that I am emotionally attached to the family I'm staying with and will greatly miss them and the neighborhood children as well. The send-off bash plans is to have a chocolate party (I'm not too sure what this means, but I think there will be chocolate) on Friday and treating some of the kids to a movie on Saturday night. Send-offs are so bittersweet.

Sunday is when Jason and I will take a few days to visit other Filipino ministries and the last few days will be for debriefing. Time flies!!!

And then back to the US for reverse culture shock......
I can't believe I'm already speaking of the end (still another two weeks in the Philippines), but the main part of this trip will be over in just a few days.

Bed Rest Musings

So just more day in the sick house, I am returning to my community home tomorrow around 9AM. Yay!!! I don't know what this sickness has been about, but it has definitely given me some time to reflect and do a lot of reading - I finished the last two books of Narnia, and The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun. And here are some thoughts I have gotten in the middle of my five days of rest.

• Jon shared a week ago how he clearly sees the need for people to trust God to provide for them on a daily basis, while in the states we kind of don't need God because we "have everything." I definitely agreed with the statement when I first heard it because it just simply made sense materially. Upon further examination, this is also a spiritual truth. It first challenges me by this question: How will God grow you in trusting Him, when you can already meet all your own needs - mentally, physically, and spiritually? If I can provide for myself, how difficult it is to recognize God as my provider!
  
• Furthermore, The Heavenly Man shares how oppression in China against Christianity and the lack of freedom spurs people to follow God at the cost of their lives. In my freedom I'm simply thinking in terms of quiet times, quality of prayer, and quantity of actions. By having all taken away, following God has eternal ramifications. In having so much, following God can easily mean so little.
• Being sick is my Achilles Heel. It simultaneously takes away my motivation to follow God because I'm resentful for the lack of rest and moves me toward trying to be more productive because I can't handle being grounded. And that's what has happened the past few days. It is a lot tougher for me to enjoy God's presence now because I reason that if I were to spend time with God's presence, my head wouldn't feel foggy nor would I feel sleepy. At the same time, I refuse to rest - I need to do something "productive."
  
• I thank God that He brings us back to Him through Jesus. Though I have felt all these frustrations and feel convicted of thinking silly thoughts, I repent of all of this and want to return to His rest. It's the same thing that gets me multiple times, summarized well in The Heavenly Man: "Ministry had become an idol. Working for God had taken the place of loving God. I hid my condition from those who prayed for me and carried on in my own strength, until God decided to intervene in his mercy and love" (pp 198). Being moved by the love of God or the love to work for God outwardly looks very similar, but is most telling for the heart... is the one I serve myself or God? and the symptoms are pretty clear. If I do things for the love of God, only joy and peace can flow from this. But if for the love of working for God, then only resentment, bitterness, and pride comes with this. I thank God for this time of sickness and reflection. I seem to have gone down this path of working and doing as many things as possible for the past few months and have been worn out by it. In His grace, may He return me and refill me with His love, and it is this love that overflows to others.

In my alarm I said,
"I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.
-Psalm 31:22

"Overflow" by sahadk
http://www.caedes.net/Zephir.cgi?lib=Caedes::Infopage&image=sahadk-1231335857.jpg