All Day Long Today

Psalm 25:4-5

Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

===

God's presence is with us all day long, so that we can hope like this. Everywhere we go, whatever our circumstance... God's presence is there. And in the midst of feeling discouraged again by the lack of rest and joy in anything I was doing or having, I realized I didn't want God's presence in these moments. Where was I when the things I deeply wanted simply couldn't be? God exists in these moments of sadness and suffering, and it is only in God's presence that I can find comfort and rest.

Yet for some reason I didn't want God. He had been the cause of all of this. He had allowed misery. Yet I never saw Him past the problems. God is also the One who brings us relief from all of this. There is hope that this suffering is not the end, and there is always something better. Somehow all of this is linked to something greater, but I am too blind to see. And this is hope, there is joy in trying to see God's presence. Wherever I am and whatever obstacles are in the way, God is there. I definitely have not fully solved this conundrum or anything, but to become eager and hopeful when we are sad is definitely something worth mentioning.

As I recount more of what this means the past few months specifically, I just want to thank you for having hope for me even when I lacked it. For trusting God even when I struggled. And for continually being part of something greater, God's kingdom, when I felt like I failed to. Thanks for your support and for sharing the Gospel with me every time we meet!

http://saharatea.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/oasis-desert.jpg

Amidst rocky, uneven terrain

Dead by toil, Dead by fear

Life sprang out of the heavens and called my name

Lo! Rise once more

You are alive today!

Blog-ging Off the Calories

With Thanksgiving over, I think it's time to starting putting that extra stuffing to work. I hope to start sending updates (regularly) again. Thanks again for all your support!

Totally Irrelevant, but in the spirit of Thanksgiving:

In n' Out

Back home for a few weeks, now it's over. I will be heading out to Amherst on Monday morning. I think this officially marks the second year, but please continue praying for the fund-raising. Thanks! I know that a lot of people who are on the missions' field are struggling with financial support, but God can provide!

The Hunt for a Car

This post is definitely edited since I did not realize how quickly things change in the consumer market during the process. I was initially looking for a car badly because I thought it was something I needed badly. I had all these questions floating in my head: How would I make appointments? How would I help out the campus if I was going to be needy? How could I learn to be responsible? These are pretty valid questions, but the real issue was my identity drawing somehow from possessing a car. And in this process of finding a car, I started seeing how it was consuming me. I am really thankful for the help I received in finding a car. Even though it was consuming me, it was really awesome spending a lot of time with my dad and a few friends doing all of this. I eventually found one, a minivan (that looks like the one below)!

The reason I am sharing all of this is because it makes me think about wanting material things in regards to the spiritual realm. I think this experience helped me see that God's existence is bigger than the things we want. I desire to possess, and God gave me much more. Relational experiences, in buying a car(?). In the same way that the whole process has been a blessing for me, I look forward to blessing others with my minivan (still nameless).

Summer Newsletter

It's Out!!! Right here:

I have put them in the mail and you should get them sometime over the next week...

Which reminds me, if you are on my email list, but are not receiving any mailings from me, please let me know so I can fix that. I am planning on sending out a newsletter quarterly as well as a couple other things. Thanks!

It's a Beautiful Morning

I just want to say thanks to everyone I have talked to within the past few weeks. Your love and care for my trip to the Philippines and time back home has been really great and encouraging. I'm surprised how my reverse culture shock has hit me this time around (in light of other trips I've been on), but your comfort has definitely helped me cope with whatever it is. Can't say that it is all sunshine and roses till forever, but Today is a beautiful morning.

And thinking about that made me think of this song:

==========

http://artists.letssingit.com

'It's a Beautiful Morning'

by The Rascals

It's a beautiful mornin' ahhh

I think I'l go outside a while

An jus' smile

Just take in some clean fresh air boy

Ain't no sense in stayin' inside

If the weather's fine an' you got the time

It's your chance to wake up and plan another brand new day

Either way

It's a beautiful mornin' ahhh

Each bird keeps singin' his own song

So long

I've got to be on my way now

Ain't no fun just hangin' around

I've got to cover ground you couldn't keep me down

It just ain't no good if the sun shines

when you're still inside

Shouldn't hide still inside

Shouldn't hide still inside shouldn't hide

Ahhhh oh shouldn't hide ah ah oh

==========

Reverse-culture shock is basically the coping mechanism of coming back to the familiar. It isn't that coming back to America surprises me, but I realize what I don't have when I "lose it." Everything that I had deeply come to appreciate uniquely about the Philippines is no longer with me, and I don't know what to do about that. And to note, what I didn't have in the Philippines was probably the most apparent (clean air, water, utilities, etc.). And so my natural responses has been a lot of fear and isolation. I am afraid that no one understands me, therefore I isolate myself from everyone else.

And actually this past weekend has revealed that my response is not based on something true. Though my experience is unique, we can identify together with Jesus. And that's where a lot of my encouragement has come from. We are here together. When Jesus tells us the two greatest commandments in Mark 12:29-31, it isn't a formula of pleasing God. It is an expression of how much God loves us and how we can come to know this love. It is also a directive, sage advice, to help us find our life. Fear and isolation is a common response. And it has been driving me down in discouragement. Loving God with everything we got and loving our neighbors helps us see Jesus, to see life.

I woke up today and thought about this, it was great (perhaps BEAUTIFUL!? I was intrigued to overuse that cliche).

With a deep gratitude for helping me see God,

Joel

photo taken by zking1286

A Quick Update

"Warp 7"

by BernieSpeed @ www.caedes.net

This picture pretty much describes perfectly how I feel since coming back. I kind of just feel out of place in life. Everything keeps on moving around me really fast, but here I am 'snail-ing' along life. And on top of that I'm suppose to think about fund-raising and such. Yup, that's pretty much it. Reverse culture-shock. It's pretty great. It's pretty tough.

Thanks for your prayers and encouragement since I have come back. And thanks for keeping up with my blog when I was overseas - I'm glad it was pretty effective with communicating what was going on!

See you next time....

PREVIEW: summer newsletter is about to hit the presses. I'll post it when the final draft is done.

The Correct URL for Photos

https://sweetphilippines09.sugarsync.com/albums

I have fixed the link in my previous post, but this is to send out another email in case you go directly from there.

Lots of Photos

So this isn't much of an update, but our team has been uploading photos to a shared site where the full picture can be downloaded. If you want to check out the photos, here is the link to the website:

https://sweetphilippines09.sugarsync.com/albums

The albums are listed by name and a description so I think it is pretty easy to navigate. Also, please feel free to nab whichever pictures you want. Thanks. Eventually I will post some of my favorites online to give a full recap.

Home Sweet Home

Made it back home!!! It's great, now I'm going to dig a hole and disappear for a couple of days. Probably I'll spend time with my family. It will be pretty great shaving as well, got a bit haggard.
It's pretty great to upload pictures in 10 seconds. When they come, this blog will be littered with them.

Hi Again Means Goodbye Sometimes

Heading out in four hours to the Manila airport. 31 hours later I will be landing in Logan. Nice? It will be pretty great to be back home (and recovering from jet lag). It was pretty great seeing some of the teenagers from the community come and visit. Yes, very good to be spending the last day with my Filipino friends and the rest of our team.

See many of you again soon and look forward to sharing some of the experiences. Thanks for all your prayers and notes of encouragement throughout this trip.

Winding Down

Flying out in 3 days... whoa

It was great to visit Los Banos, Laguna and the ministry in Metro Manila the past few days. The rest of our team left their respective ministries and we are back at the Filipino Navigator headquarters. There are plans for some rest and relaxing in the city as we debrief our time with each other. It feels pretty strange to be talking about leaving the Philippines, but this trip has helped me look forward to another year at UMass.

Also, I personally am hoping to spend maybe one more day with a couple of older guys from our community (Ronel and Darwin) if they can visit on Saturday. That would be pretty exciting for sure... it's pretty tough leaving friends by going halfway around the world.

True Fasting

I sometimes wonder if we are connecting with people's spirituality too much instead of too little. As in we are too concerned with what bible studies we get them connected with and miss out on people's physical/emotional needs.

Here's a chapter from Isaiah that is helping me process this thought:

Isaiah 58:2-10
2For day after day they seek me out; they seem eager to know my ways, as if they were a nation that does what is right and has not forsaken the commands of its God. They ask me for just decisions and seem eager for God to come near them. ³'Why have we fasted,' they say, 'and you have not seen it? Why have we humbled ourselves,and you have not noticed?' "Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please and exploit all your workers. ⁴Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife, and in striking each other with wicked fists. You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high. ⁵Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man to humble himself? Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed and for lying on sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the LORD? 6"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? ⁷Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? ⁸Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. 9Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. "If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, 10and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.

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It makes me think about this: to know the abundance of the Lord isn't simply to think rightly, but to also live justly.

Notes From Lunch

Jason and I had the privilege of meeting with Wency, the director of the urban poor ministries in Los Banos. I wanted to write down what I heard because I really love the vision of his ministry here.

• The ministry in Los Banos comprises ministry to the poor, high school ministry, and a college ministry (UPLB)... incorporating self-sustaining development programs, feeding programs, music ministry, and tutorials.
• The major mission points of this ministry is to: have a ministry that is able to be run by lay-people, develop real community, and be holistic - to minister to people's needs and their spirituality, speak to all of their lives with the gospel, minister to a wide array of people (H.S., college, slums/squatter areas).
• Holistic ministry is essential because people begin to follow you when you help their needs.
  
• Another reason why there are multiple ministries is because the poor in the Philippines are integrated throughout all of society - the poor and the rich mingle in everyday life.
• Being poor isn't necessarily better, though they are more ready to accept the gospel. The poor and rich struggle with the same inherent issues (sin, family structure, cultural pressures)... it is just the poor are more aware of their neediness, which is why they readily desire to connect their spirituality.
• The congregational church ministers to the community when individuals take charge of loving their neighbors (going beyond church and church activity attendance).
• The future vision is that laborers will be built up as the ministry speaks to each individual's wholeness... and they will go out to establish communities.

I am a little bit embarrassed with my broken notes, but what kuya wency and Companion to the Poor say really complement each other. I am really grateful for the hospitality of the people in Los Banos in welcoming Jason and I to visit their ministry. Seeing the ministry here helps me also process my time in Antipolo better as well.

Uggh, Need to Develop Pictures

So after three straight days of farewell parties (mine, Jon's, and Jason's) from Wednesday to Friday, I had a chocolate party with the community kids and took them out to the movies on Saturday, and said farewell on Sunday morning. I could describe more (but unfortunately there are no pictures to show you these things), but its not too difficult to describe lots of food, song/dance tributes, and a lot of good-byes. Filipinos love there dancing and ridiculous amounts of food at their parties.

Now Jason and I are here in Los Banos (two hours south) with three other teammates who we met during the first week of orientation. It's really tough leaving an awesome community, it's great to meet up with old friends and visit the ministry here.

Mix of emotions. Miss my host family a lot already.

I'm Thankful for....

To be honest I don't feel like I have actually done anything really significant other than experience Filipino culture quite thoroughly. However, I was talking to Ate Lina (the mother of my family) today and she got quite emotional explaining how she was thankful for the time that I've spent here. And when someone thanks you for doing something you are not too sure what you've done, it definitely makes you reflect pretty hard.

• I think my interaction with Ate Lina was really great since it was in the context of talking about a message Dario presented last night in Matthew 6 (Do not worry...), Ecclesiastes 12, and Isaiah 40. She also shared her story of how she trusts God with her family. It's pretty inspiring.
• I have come to a semi-conclusion that where I felt like I have done nothing, and Ate Lina was moved is a direct reflection of affluent vs. two-third world societies. The book I am reading, Companion to the Poor, has a chapter wondering why Matthew 5 says "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven," as in why the poor are blessed. I think I've come to recognize that the poor need a lot less to be moved by God's provision. Where I need something pretty near to miraculous to happen before I feel significant, Ate Lina was simply thankful for my presence with her family. That's pretty incredible, seeing God's presence practically everywhere.
• Ate Lina has been praying for her family (her husband and four kids) for many years and gradually God is transforming each of their lives - when I can find a picture of the family, I will share what Ate Lina has shared with me. I am pretty excited for when the whole family can worship God and be a blessing to their neighbors and friends. If I see that day, it's going to be pretty exciting!
• I realize that truly adapting to a culture is pretty hard. Food, relating to people, noises, smells, weather, language barriers, different value systems, mosquitoes, and getting sick compound each other to make a pretty intense experience that is not like home. However, as I continue to reflect about my time here, there is one thing I'm really thankful for. I am really thankful that I got to thoroughly experience Filipino culture this time around and in this experience see the gospel transform lives (through house churches, bible studies, and conversations with my family). The poor are blessed because the hope of following Jesus is much more significant. Not only are they following in the "spiritual" sense, but they are learning to trust God with their whole lives. Seeing this process in the local communities has been pretty awesome.
• I am really thankful for my family as well. All of them have welcomed me warmly into their house and given me space to rest. They have been great. Yeah, I'm going to miss them. Here here to the last week!
  

The Worst Time to be Making Decisions

So it's pretty official that I am emotionally attached to the family I'm staying with and will greatly miss them and the neighborhood children as well. The send-off bash plans is to have a chocolate party (I'm not too sure what this means, but I think there will be chocolate) on Friday and treating some of the kids to a movie on Saturday night. Send-offs are so bittersweet.

Sunday is when Jason and I will take a few days to visit other Filipino ministries and the last few days will be for debriefing. Time flies!!!

And then back to the US for reverse culture shock......
I can't believe I'm already speaking of the end (still another two weeks in the Philippines), but the main part of this trip will be over in just a few days.

Bed Rest Musings

So just more day in the sick house, I am returning to my community home tomorrow around 9AM. Yay!!! I don't know what this sickness has been about, but it has definitely given me some time to reflect and do a lot of reading - I finished the last two books of Narnia, and The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun. And here are some thoughts I have gotten in the middle of my five days of rest.

• Jon shared a week ago how he clearly sees the need for people to trust God to provide for them on a daily basis, while in the states we kind of don't need God because we "have everything." I definitely agreed with the statement when I first heard it because it just simply made sense materially. Upon further examination, this is also a spiritual truth. It first challenges me by this question: How will God grow you in trusting Him, when you can already meet all your own needs - mentally, physically, and spiritually? If I can provide for myself, how difficult it is to recognize God as my provider!
  
• Furthermore, The Heavenly Man shares how oppression in China against Christianity and the lack of freedom spurs people to follow God at the cost of their lives. In my freedom I'm simply thinking in terms of quiet times, quality of prayer, and quantity of actions. By having all taken away, following God has eternal ramifications. In having so much, following God can easily mean so little.
• Being sick is my Achilles Heel. It simultaneously takes away my motivation to follow God because I'm resentful for the lack of rest and moves me toward trying to be more productive because I can't handle being grounded. And that's what has happened the past few days. It is a lot tougher for me to enjoy God's presence now because I reason that if I were to spend time with God's presence, my head wouldn't feel foggy nor would I feel sleepy. At the same time, I refuse to rest - I need to do something "productive."
  
• I thank God that He brings us back to Him through Jesus. Though I have felt all these frustrations and feel convicted of thinking silly thoughts, I repent of all of this and want to return to His rest. It's the same thing that gets me multiple times, summarized well in The Heavenly Man: "Ministry had become an idol. Working for God had taken the place of loving God. I hid my condition from those who prayed for me and carried on in my own strength, until God decided to intervene in his mercy and love" (pp 198). Being moved by the love of God or the love to work for God outwardly looks very similar, but is most telling for the heart... is the one I serve myself or God? and the symptoms are pretty clear. If I do things for the love of God, only joy and peace can flow from this. But if for the love of working for God, then only resentment, bitterness, and pride comes with this. I thank God for this time of sickness and reflection. I seem to have gone down this path of working and doing as many things as possible for the past few months and have been worn out by it. In His grace, may He return me and refill me with His love, and it is this love that overflows to others.

In my alarm I said,
"I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.
-Psalm 31:22

"Overflow" by sahadk
http://www.caedes.net/Zephir.cgi?lib=Caedes::Infopage&image=sahadk-1231335857.jpg

I Smell Like a Protestant

One of the things we are encouraged to do is give a fifteen minute presentation on a passage in the Bible at our house church meeting (mine being on Wednesdayn night). So I prepared a talk with all its bells and whistle. I made observations regarding John 13 (Jesus washing his disciples' feet), made some points and gave some cross-references. Finale! I threw down an application and closed with Philippians 2. Wala!!! It was a beautiful talk and would have made any seminary professor tremble a little bit. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I really prepared for this talk and I thought the delivery went pretty well.

However, upon assessing my talk, Kuya Willy was very encouraging about my thoughts; however, he said something that was pretty great. "You Smelled Like a Protestant." I think this phrase pretty much conveyed his thoughts to me as clearly as possible. It's not that my talk was bad or anything like that, but in serving the Catholic community, I was too confident in what I was familiar with. Protestants are known to love reading the Bible thoroughly, so making a lot of cross-references and closing with something outside of the message's passage made my talk kind of overwhelming for the community. I feel like there are lessons brewing from this point, but there is only one thing that is grabbing my attention right now. Strengths are only skin-deep. As well or as much as I do matters only if a number of factors are right. In the wrong social context, cultural understanding, moods, emotions, ambience, communication (all of which is pretty different in the Philippines), my greatest intentions and preparation can be reduced to mean much less. My strengths are only skin-deep. All else is grace.

Praise God He sustains our life by His grace.

And Then a Cockroach Bit Me in the Leg

Seriously. Very strange, I think I'm falling apart. The first thing to share is that I am doing much better. I went to the doctor's on Friday night and found that there is nothing too seriously wrong with me. I just need some R&R (still haven't figured out what that means yet, but I definitely want a lot of it because it sounds so good). And Kuya Willy is feeling a lot healthier as well, though his son David is now ill. The other thing is that when you feel at your worst, you can know what your true feelings are about something. Ask me whether I want to come back to the Philippines even after disease and a cockroach bite and I would probably still emphatically say yes, though I miss air conditioning a lot. Yeah, I love this place. Whoo - this would be more enthusiastic, but you can only get so much out of a sick person.

Thanks for your prayers and concerns. What I have is definitely contagious, so I am styaing away from the community for a couple of days. However, what is spreading is much milder than what I have am being inflicted with. Regardless, here is a big BOO! to sickness, thankfully people are getting better.

Down with the Flu

I am pretty bummed out right now. I am struggling with a low-grade fever and am really tired today and it looks like I might have come down with the flu. I don't know when this happened exactly, or what my exposure has been, but it has been physically difficult to adapt to living among the poor. I have had a cough for two weeks, and last night was when I started feeling really ill. The heat, smog, and mosquitoes have all contributed to a lack of rest. Please pray that I will get the rest I need as well as our team leader Kuya Willy (I think he has the same thing). Also, since we are being sick among the poor, it would be pretty disheartening if people get sick in the community since the opportunity for proper health care is lacking.

Thanks for your prayers.

A Theme of Trust

I feel like this has been a theme this week when relating with people in the community. Psalm 31 has led to some pretty meaningful conversations between yesterday and today, so here is it verbatim with my favorite parts highlighted... I will hopefully share soon how this psalm has been meaningful:

Psalm 31
1In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.

2Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.

3Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.

4Free me from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.

5Into your hands I commit my spirit;
redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.

6I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
I trust in the LORD.

7I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.

8You have not handed me over to the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.

9Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.

10My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.

11Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
I am a dread to my friends—
those who see me on the street flee from me.

12I am forgotten by them as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.

13For I hear the slander of many;
there is terror on every side;
they conspire against me
and plot to take my life.

14But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my God."

15My times are in your hands;
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who pursue me.

16Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.

17Let me not be put to shame, O LORD,
for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame
and lie silent in the grave.

18Let their lying lips be silenced,
for with pride and contempt
they speak arrogantly against the righteous.

19How great is your goodness,
which you have stored up for those who fear you,
which you bestow in the sight of men
on those who take refuge in you.

20In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from the intrigues of men;
in your dwelling you keep them safe
from accusing tongues.

21Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed his wonderful love to me
when I was in a besieged city.

22In my alarm I said,
"I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.

23Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful,
but the proud he pays back in full.

24Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.

One Week Notice

So, this update is coming a little bit later than I expected, but I feel like the week has flown by that there has been no time for the internet. But here we are, some quiet = some updates. By the by, I really wish I had pictures because there are a lot of things I want to describe and it is so much better to see it. Well, here goes....

Living in the Community

It has been four days (Monday we left for our host homes). And I have found a new appreciation for showers, flushing toilets, and mattresses. I know I said this before, but the culture shock going back to the US is going to be incredible. Here is a rough mesh of what my day looks like so far (and it will probably change).

• 5AM - Get up thanks to the roosters
• 5:30 - Send the daughter (Roschel - age 9) to school - though school has been canceled because of a typhoon that has hit us.
• 6 - Do some exercise on the way back (jogging or basketball)
• 7:30 - breakfast
• 8 - Get ready to go to the mountains (on Tues, Wed, Thur) - I have a more productive day before when I sometimes wake up!
  
• 8:30 - Go to a mountain community to renovate a CR (bathroom) and plant some trees
• 12PM - Get back, have lunch - Roschel is coming back home
• 1 - Spend time with the baranguay (community) kids (referring to any age between 3-17) - they roam about in bunches
• 4 - Settled time - I can't call it quiet or alone time since neither has any chance of possibly happening... maybe reading
• 4:05 - The baranguay kids want to read with me so we read together
• 7 - Dinner
• 8 - House church at one of the communities (one each night, so that means 5 of the evenings).
• 9 - Watch Zorro and Totoy Bato (filipino soaps)
• 9:45 - fall asleep on a chair because I am exhausted
• 10:15 - Wake up, dip bath, really go to bed.
• 1 AM - A mosquite bit my toe - it's really itchy
• 4 AM - Roosters, CR

I am really thankful that our host families have given each one of us enclosed space including a bed and a curtain and a feast for breakfast, lunch, and dinner as well as merienda (snack time between the meals). That definitely helps me cope without a mattress, no flushing toilets, and dip baths. Oh yeah, a fan at my feet blowing air over me helps minimize mosquitoes, helps in general as well.

Official Schedule

This is the last time I will type the days of the week:

• Monday - 6am-5:30pm (getting to know the community), 6:30-7:30pm (high school bible study, reviewing the gospel)
  
• Tuesday - 8am-12pm (in the mountains), 1-9pm (getting to know the community)
• Wednesday - 8am-12pm (in the mountains), 1-7pm (getting to know the community), 8-9pm (my house church)
• Thursday - 8am-12pm (in the mountains), 1-7pm (getting to know the community), 8-9pm (Jon's house church)
  
• Friday - free day, 9pm (sleepover Kuya Willy's house)
  
• Saturday - 8:30-12pm (tutorial class at a Catholic church), 1pm-4pm (spending more time with the high school bible study), 8-9pm (Jason's house church)
  
• Sunday - Go to Catholic church in the morning, spend time with the community, 8-9pm (Dario's house church)

Getting to know the community is pretty vague, but it is pretty essential in developing future relationships for more house churches to be planted and for Kuya Willy's ministry of empowering filipinos (since there culture is heavily based on shame). This happens pretty easily too since whenever I go out of my house, at least one of the children in my house (Roldo {4}, Roschel {9}, and Ronnel {17}) follow me and introduce me to their friends. And from here, I am pretty sure my ongoing presence with the children will eventually lead me to get to know other family members. Also, if I stay in the house, at least someone visits every 5 minutes so I'm pretty sure I get to know the community better through the spectrum of doing nothting-to-something.

I really want to share a lot more about all the experiences I have plus the back log of what I wanted to share the last time I posted and pictures are a must... hopefully this will happen soon. But I am going to be late for dinner and it would be good to be there relatively on time (7pm).

Please pray for my host family that they will find steady jobs and be healthy... being jobless or sick are the two biggest threats to anyone who is poor in the community. Their names are: Kuya (older brother) Rolley, Atte (older sister) Lina, Ronnel, Roschel, and Roldo - and they have an older daughter in the provinces, but I don't know her name. They have been exceedingly generous and are a beautiful family (where the parents really love their children, which sadly isn't the case for many families in metro manila)

Thanks!

Magandang Umaga Po (Good morning {respectfully}) for anyone in the states
Magandang Gabi Po (Good evening {respectfully}) for anyone in Asia

Entering God's Rest

I was thinking a little about rest for a little bit this morning. I realize that home in the States has a lot of luxuries. Fully supported mattresses, high-speed internet, water you can drink from the tap, air-conditioning and heat whenever you want, accessibility of nutrition, a lot less insects, running water, fully functioning bathrooms etc, etc. Now in the filipino slums (and we're not even staying with the poorest of the poor) we have limited access to communication, rice is a main staple of our diet with very little else, dip baths and manual flush toilets, humidity you can't escape, etc, etc.

The question I was thinking about is: how is it possible to make this transition without feeling miserable (that is just beyond surviving the circumstances)?. Living a life of luxury and moving into a life of poverty... and it occurred to me. How in the world can I really be satisfied within a life of luxury... how I feel physically, emotionally, and spiritually cannot be simply adjusted by turning on the air conditioning, surfing on the internet, drinking cleaner water. In fact I can do these things and actually feel worse/become more lethargic.

All of this is grace. And rest transcends the boundaries of what we have. Rest is simply grace from God wherever we are, whatever the circumstances. He will provide me rest because I am His. In heat or coolness, padding or non, flushing toilets or dip baths, the beauty is not the quality of these things, but the quality of God's love. I can rest well here regardless of luxury, when Our father provides.

Today I woke up at 4AM, weird. But I do not have to worry because I am already resting with Jesus.

Psalm 139:2-3 (NIV)
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.

Hebrews 3:7-15 (NIV)
7So, as the Holy Spirit says: "Today, if you hear his voice, 8do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the desert, 9where your fathers tested and tried me and for forty years saw what I did. 10That is why I was angry with that generation, and I said 'Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways.' 11So I declared on oath in my anger, 'They shall never enter my rest'". 12See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. 13But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. 14We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first. 15As has just been said: "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion."

Isaiah 40:27-31 (NIV)
27Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God"? 28Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. ²⁹He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. ³⁰Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; ³¹but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

**N.B** I hope what I'm conveying is not about becoming apathetic to our condition. That is to become careless by how we live, in luxury or poverty. I think rest is simply another aspect of our relationship with God we can live out.

A Picture of Rest

Jumping the Gun

==morning musings========
So the last post is slightly inaccurate. Apparently I have a few more days with daily internet access. It is no longer low-speed wireless, but high-speed dial up (I didn't even know this existed). I know it's dial-up for sure because every time the phone is picked up, I have to restart the router. Weird. Anyways, jet lag has finally caught up with me and I didn't know what to do with myself at 4:30 AM when everyone is sleeping. Naturally, the only light in the room that was on is this computer. So of course I have to send another update!
==musing over========

• Monday morning = official moving into the slums and probably the cutoff of daily internet access (but meanwhile, I am going to milk this luxury).
  
  
• Here's a rough look at each week's schedule:

Monday - Evening high school bible study
Tuesday - Working in the mountains during the day, spending time in the community at night.
Wednesday - Same as Tuesday
Thursday - Same as Tuesday
Friday - Team day off
Saturday - Morning tutorial session, afternoon sports session, evening at community director's house
Sunday - ???

• The Navigator ministry where we are staying takes an insider approach. Our community director, Kuya (older brother) Willy, has established a relationship with the local Catholics*. And his vision is that people who follow Jesus will share Christ's love with their local community, naturally attracting neighbors/friends to know God. This ministry is very young (5 communities: the oldest being 3 years old, the youngest being 2 weeks old) and that means that our trip is part of the greater picture of learning and growing - exciting!

==morning musings========
As a side note, I think the Navigators have recently had a paradigm shift toward ministering to the local communities. Being catholic or protestant (if you call yourself christian, you are considered protestant) has fueled a lot of cultural tension since Americans began sending missionaries over in the early 1900's. Rather than add to this tension, filipino christians (referring to my last trip in 2007) have begun realizing that following Jesus is not about the type of worship they are affiliated to, but exactly who we are following. This is pretty exciting that the message people are sharing is not about methods and philosophies, but that Jesus is the way to Life. Since I personally have made decisions based on rightness rather than following Christ, I am really interested in seeing how this happens on the trip.
==musing over========

Thanks again for reading and your continual prayers!

I look forward to update you more with more about our trip leaders (Kuya Willy and James Kang), our team, our living situation situation (which we visited yesterday), and more about what we will be doing in the next couple of days... after that, who knows!

Wireless In the Philippines, Begone!

So this is my last post (or second to last post in case I post some thoughts tomorrow) while I have wireless internet access. Tomorrow, 4 of us: Jason McNeillie, Joel Lee, Jon Vickers, and Dario Torres (NJ) will be going to Antipolo (metro Manila). This means leaving the filipino navigator headquarters and going into a community. It has been a real blessing to be at the Navigator headquarters since we have been loved by the filipino navigators, and found an easy transition from western culture to asian culture (running water, internet, air conditioning)... but now it is time to move us on to where God had originially called us. THE CITY SLUMS!

It is pretty exciting because each one of us will be living individually in a (squatter?) home. This means a log of things.

1. No more daily internet access - I probably will have to go to an internet cafe
2. We have only known Dario for a couple days (and whatever implications that might hold).
3. This is going to be pretty extreme culture shock since we will be with the filipino community 24/7 for five weeks... much more intense than the first trip.
4. Rice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner - I am really happy about this, but that's because it is ideally and everyday staple for me... I don't know about the other three guys and how their diet will adjust.
5. No more airconditioning - time for summer manila heat and humidity! whooo! (not a very enthusiastic one).
6. The trip really begins tomorrow. It is going to be exciting, yet very new for each of us. I'm sure tensions will run high.
7. Jason and I will be serving Willy (the Antipolo staff Navigator) opposed to James Kang (Chicago-based Navigator staff trainer).
8. Everything will be reduced in quantity and size (the home we will be living in, utilities, facilities, etc.)
9. It's going to be an experience where each one of us need to trust God in revealing Himself to us. There is no way we can sustain five weeks of living in the slums by ourselves. We might survive it, but seeing abundant life is a whole other thing.

I think that's all. While I am nervous, I am simultaneously excited that we really get to be invited to filipino culture. It's not going to be something that will be easy, neither will the experiences of the other two groups. Please pray continually that more of God may be revealed to us as we trust Him in humbling serving the Philippines, our neighbors, and each other. Thanks and see you at the next update!

Summer Reading

All twelve of us will be debriefing with this book on July 25. It is one of my favorites since it really applies the gospel to serving the poor. If by chance you get to read this book, I would love to talk about it with you in more detail. Thanks!

Companion to the Poor: Christ in the Urban Slums
by Viv Grigg

Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: Authentic and World Visions: 2nd edition (September 1, 2004)
ISBN-10: 1932805133
ISBN-13: 978-193205130

http://www.amazon.com/Companion-Poor-Christ-Urban-Slums/dp/1932805133/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1245342475&sr=8-1

Worthy of Praise

Yesterday during orientation, one the filipino navigator leaders (Kim Sison) led us through a session on God-centered prayer based out of 1 Chronicles 29. I felt challenged by this session because though I talk about how I trust God with my fears, at the heart level I still operate in a lot of these fears (I think an earlier post covers this). The session is based on the fact that our prayer must be first centered on Our Father before our needs... This connects pretty deeply with the presence of God (something I've thought about recently based on Practicing the Presence by Brother Lawrence) - I don't know how excatly yet, but definitely thinking about it. I just know that following God is not about a tug-of-war of doing right and wrong since Christ has already done this for us. And living like that is simply tiring (which seems contrary to the abundant life Jesus offers). The pull is more whether or not I trust that God provides for me as His son, or am I really left on my own to operate - this battle runs to the deepest part of my sinews.

Well, here's a pull toward reminiding that God is really good.

Listening to Sigur Ros

1 Chronicles 29:10-19 (NASB)
10So David blessed the Lord in the sight of all the assembly; and David said, "Blessed are You, O LORD God of Israel our father, forever and ever. 11Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, indeed everything that is in the heavens and the earth; Your is the dominion, O LORD, and You exalt Yourself as head over all {Jesus? Phil 2:9-11]. 12Both riches and honor come from You, and You rule over all, and in Your hand is power and might; and it lies in Your hand to make great and to strengthen everyone. 13Now therefore, our God, we thank You, and praise Your glorious name. 14But who am I and who are my people that we should be able to offer as generously as this? For all things come from You, and from Your hand we have given You. 15For we are sojourners before You, and tenants, as all our fathers were; our days on the earth are like a shadow, and there is no hope {But NOW we have hope... Heb 12:1-3}. 16O LORD our God, all this abundance that we have provided to builld You a house for Your holy name, it is from Your hand, and all is Yours. 17Since I know, O my God, that You try the heart and delight in uprightness, I , in the integrity of my heart, have willingly offered all these things; so now with joy I have seen Your people, who are present here, make their offerings willingly to you. 18O LORD, the God of Abraham, Issac and Israel, our fathers, preserve this forever in the intentions of the heart of Your people, and direct their heart to You; 19and give to my son Solomon a perfect heart to keep Your commandments, Your testimonies and Your statutes, and to do them all, and to build the temple, for which I have made provisions.

Bold = Sooo Good
{my commentary}

All is the Lord's
And we are heirs
God is good

"Classic Apollo" by Flurije
http://www.caedes.net/Zephir.cgi?lib=Caedes::Infopage&image=Flurije-1121387038.jpg

Pictures of the Travels.

Some pictures to commemorate the travelling exploits.

Left: Ronald McDonald is everywhere, and marketing a case of sold-out pokeballs

Center: Jon and I putting on our swine flu masks, making our peace signs since there was nothing else to show that we are in Asia.

Right: Jon and Sonia (from San Diego State) living out poetic irony. Asian signs with the American. American signs with the asians. Bah. I really tried though.

Discombobulated

Hello again! I am writing on a mattress in the Philippines. And you know what this means...

*drum roll*...... pttptptptptpt.....

We have arrived! On June 17 @ 1 AM (June 16, 1PM EST), our team of 11 arrived at the filipino navigator headquarters. And we were/are pooped. It has been ten hours since we woke up this morning, though jet lag seems to be pretty intense. shhh. This room that I'm typing in is full of sleeping men. In a few minutes I'll have to do a wake up call.

Our schedule for the week is orientation until friday, in which our team will be split three ways and go separate ways. One group will stay at the headquarters to serve local high school/college ministries, while the other two groups will go to the slums of greater manila (antipolo and los banos). The three UMass-ites will be part of these two groups.

Meanwhile, it is pretty exciting to know that there is wireless internet (thus mattress typing) and I will probably send a lot of updates in these couple of days and then who knows after that. Thanks again for your continual prayers!

Off We Go!!!!!!!!!!!

See you in Korea!

Fasten Your Seatbelts, Turbulence Ahead

This past week has been far too hectic (and I feel like so many dashed expectations). I don't know what all of this is about. But here we are, on the eve of my flight to NYC then to Korea then to the Philippines.

7:35 AM is when 12 people from around the country will be flying to meet up in Incheon, Seoul, Korea.

That means leaving behind:

• What I think is unfinished work
• 6 weeks of bills and such
• Fund-raising for next year
• My younger siblings who are growing up fast
• The comforts of being an American (I've done this before, but 100 degree humid monsoon season weather makes you forget pretty quickly)

And embarking on:

• A team that will meet for the first time
• 12 expectations from 12 broken people
• Leading though I feel inadequate
• Serving people that adore Americans
• Living out our culture shock

These are all fears of mine (some being legitimate and some not) that I can only trust God with since there is nothing I can do to even remotely direct/control alleviating any of these fears. Simply thanks for your support and ongoing prayer for our team going to the Philippines. I cling onto small truths that inspire me to keep on going.

Hebrews 3:12-13
Take care, brethren, that there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God. But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "Today," so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

Today I Trust That God Provides.
I Believe That God Is Good.

For There Is No Other Way

This morning I got to have the pleasure of having a sleepy quiet time that gave me a lot of comfort. I was reminded of two key ways I can worship God - that is to trust and obey Him. These two actions are the few times we get to say 'yes' to God in our day-to-day life. I can trust God because He is my good Father. I want to obey Him because it is one of the few chances in my day that I get to follow Him. Clinging onto these two things means that we do not have to worry. I know God is my Father and I really do want to follow Him because of this fact.

Hebrews 12:5 (NIV)
And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

Though the context doesn't sound too optimistic, but I am called the same name as Jesus. My son. Pretty awesome. If the Lord is with me, who can be against me? (*cough* Joel, why are you living life in fear... is that even living?)

God is good.

-----------
Lyrics to 'Trust and Obey' by John H. Sammis, Daniel B. Towner (1887)

Verse 1:
When we walk with the Lord in the light of his word,
what a glory he sheds on our way!
While we do his good will, he abides with us still,
and with all who will trust and obey.

Refrain:
Trust and obey, for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Verse 2:
Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,
but our toil he doth richly repay;
not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,
but is blest if we trust and obey.
(Refrain)

Verse 3:
But we never can prove the delights of his love
until all on the altar we lay;
for the favor he shows, for the joy he bestows,
are for them who will trust and obey.
(Refrain)

Verse 4:
Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at his feet,
or we'll walk by his side in the way;
what he says we will do, where he sends we will go;
never fear, only trust and obey.
(Refrain)

The UMass Squad #1

Here are some polaroids by Nate King, a friend and student at UMass.













(from left to right: Jason McNeillie, Jon Vickers, and Me)

Don't worry, there will be more pictures of us coming very soon.

Publishing My Thoughts

In reviewing my posts I have found that when I write thoughts, they can be quite verbose. Since the date of publication isn't that important, I have appended the thoughts to 2008. That way if you are interested you can read what is in my brain without taking up the whole front page of the blog. Hope you enjoy (if you dare! :)

Oh and I have copied some of my favorite passages/books which I will append to 2007. I know there is some copyright infringement issues I might be messing with, but I have two things to say about that.

1. I hope what I post will encourage readers to buy a copy for themselves since I have grown to fall in love with the writing, which is why I have copied the books.
2. If there is copyright infringement, I will gladly take down the posts from public viewing.
   

10 Days to Go!!!

Philippines is on June 15 and I am pretty excited. The upcoming Philippines trip is pretty exciting... perhaps a little bit too exciting. Thinking about the trip and thinking about fund-raising has definitely gotten me pretty anxious. I gave a talk sometime in February on hope and these are the things that I cling to, remembering what God has taught me. If you click the '2008' link on the right panel you can view this thought.

Anyways, tomorrow I will be heading to Boston to help my friend Jon Vickers do some callbacks for fund-raising. He is $2,400 short for the trip. Though I am sure he can fund-raise after he gets back from the Philippines, it would be good for him to be fully funded before the trip. Please pray for this process for him.

Well, now that I have some time, I will share some more details about the trip. Here is a list of people going on the trip and I have figured out where some of them are from based on their email addresses:

Who?

Trip Leaders: James Kang, Bobot, Wency, Maria and Bridgett
Trip Goers:
Joel Lee - UMass!
Jason McNeillie - UMass!
Jon Vickers - UMass!
Dario Torres - somewhere near the northeast
Drew Lukes - ???
Trenton Hannack - Minnesota
Matthew Rowe - Minnesota
Lindsey Powell - Nebraska
Alissa Goodding - ???
Chelsea McCown - Georgia
Maria Cabrera - ???
Sonia Balanay - California

What?

I'm hoping someone is from some southwest state solely because it would mean our team going overseas pretty much covers every region of the US. Whoa! Please pray that we will seek to make Christ center in all our interations and whatever we do over in the Philippines. Also, please pray that we will see that this trip is God's blessing for us; perhaps we will find God all the way over there!

Also, here is a list of things that we will be doing over in the Philippines:

1. Spending a lot of time developing relationships with the people in the poor community that you will be assigned to.
2. Lead Bible Studies and meet with people one on one for discipleship and leadership training
3. Some of the students will be assigned to help with possible building projects and maybe help develop a business among the poor.
4. I think we will also have some opportunities to teach english.
   
5. Jason and I will be team leaders for the trip. We will also be asked to visit the students assigned at different locations to pray with the students and to encourage them.
   

Please pray that all of us will adequately rest before and after the trip - culture shock can definitely take a toll.

Where?

And this is where we will go... Our team will be split in half with one group working in greater Manila, and another group working in Los Banos. I have highlighted the two regions, though I'm not sure how helpful this is.

Please pray for our safety as we do these things in the Philippines. The dates again are June 15 to August 1.

Thanks again for your continual partnership in my ministry! I look forward to updating you with more information!

A Look at the Cards

Here's a sneak peak at what I will be distributing shortly:

Postcard for the Philippines:














Business Card (I'm just soooo professional):








I still would like to make up a prayer card with my mug on it... but my creativity for the day has been drained. Yay to progess!

Most Recent Newsletter

I figured I might as well upload my most recent newsletter. Click on the thumbnail to get the full version. Also, since I uploaded a low resolution version it may be quite hard to read. I can email you a full version of my newsletter (in its full glory) if you send a request to my email: joelleexs@gmail.com.

Hope you enjoy!





Fall 2008 Edition:

Here is my first newlsetter up here just for kicks. whoopie pie. Time really does fly by.

The Cold Awesome Facts!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (continuing exclamation from my last post).

I am moving back home for the summer to attack force delta on my fundraising so I don't have too many thoughts I can put here. But here are the details:

Where: Manila, Philippines (joining with the Filipino navigators)
Who: Jason McNeillie (fellow EDGE corps), Jon Vickers ('09 UMass - just graduated), and 8 other students from around the nation.
When: June 15 - August 1
What: You will be ministering and serving kids and their families by teaching reading English, math and the bible. There are three groups - ages 7-9, 10-12 and 13 up. This will be three to four times of meetings. Leading Bible studies among the parents and high school students and also will be showing evangelistic movies and teaching livelihood skills. We can have at least three movie screening. Please bring the movies in CD or DVD.